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Mar. 18th, 2008

Beginning of the New Story!!

So this is my latest story, a draft of the first chapter. I have no name for it right now, so I'll refer to it as the L.E.W. Story, just named after the people who helped with the story line. So here is the draft....Please, PLEASE tell me what you think and be honest about it! I've gotten nothing but good feedback so far and I'm hoping it will be the same here. Please read and comment, I would really appreciate it =).

Chapter 1:
“You had better change, and fast.”
Haley Ross sat quietly in the back seat of the car behind her parents, preparing for another one of her father’s lectures. They never seemed to end these days. Ever since last year’s incident, her father has been very strict with her. They had also grown apart over the last few months. Their father-daughter relationship had deteriorated to the point that they hardly spoke to each other. Every conversation was just a cluster of muttered words, spoken with bowed heads because neither of them could bear to look the other in the eye. They were still dealing with the pain that lingered from those terrible days in June. Haley hated herself now, knowing that she had completely lost the trust of her parents, who couldn’t even look in her direction anymore. Her “friends” and family had abandoned her, and those lonely summer months had been hard to endure. Her father’s feelings were different. He was dealing with the shame and miserable sense of failure; her perfect, straight-A daughter seemed to be becoming more of a whore with each passing day.
“You better listen to me Haley.” he continued. His eyes were straight ahead staring through the windshield, hands clamped tight around the steering wheel. “I don’t want that happening again...anything like that at all. I’ve warned you before, but this is my last warning. If I ever hear you did that again— If I ever hear you so much as touched another boy...If you ever make me go through that again...I will no longer call you my daughter.”
“Dad, I...” Haley stopped. Yet again, she was unable to go on, as if her voice had been ripped out of her throat.
“Did you hear what I said? If you even dare to try this again, you’re going face the consequences, and you’re going to go through it alone. We won’t be there to bail you out again.”
“Dad, I’ve already told you...I’ve changed!” She tried desperately to convince them. Hadn’t they seen how hard she tried. She made sure that she would never be that girl again. “I told you that I’m not out of control anymore, and I’m not going to be sleeping with anymore boys! Why can’t you just believe me when I tell you—,”
“Believe you?! After what you did!? You can’t honestly expect us to–,” He fell silent as her mother grabbed his arm, as if to say Stop. Don’t go there.
Haley sat there, biting back tears as she realized that it really was that bad. Her father was fuming again, and her mother remained silent, never turning back to look at her. Haley knew she managed to do the worse thing possible. Now she was a criminal in their eyes.
“Bye,” She muttered, rushing out the car door and running up the front lawn towards the school doors.
“Where did we go wrong?” Her father said. “We gave her everything. She’s from a good family, Straight A student, beautiful girl! How could she have...my little girl...”
“Don’t worry,” Her mother replied. “She’s not happy about it either you know. She’s taking this much harder than we are. Can you imagine how hard it must be for her to walk into that school right now? She says she’ll change, and we should have faith in her.”
“Do you honestly believe that? You think she’ll change that easily? That boy even said she was like that for years. I don’t have enough faith to hope that she’ll go back to the way she was. Do you?”
She was silent, unable to argue with his comment, and refusing to say what she really thought.
Haley walked slowly and silently through the crowded hallways of the high school. She bowed her head, trying to hide her face with her dark brown hair. She could feel their eyes on her. They were all staring at her, and exchanging whispers behind cupped hands. They all knew who she was. Haley Ross. The whore. The girl who’d been with practically every senior guy last year. But what happened to her? Why did she look so...different?
She quickened her pace. The piercing eyes of the students was beginning to be overwhelming. She was at her locker when she heard them calling her.
She spun around to see them standing there. Jennifer Coleman, her first friend from Freshman year, stood playing with her auburn hair, and greeting her with a warm smile. Her soft blue eyes gazed at her, looking for any signs of misery or anger on her face. Shaun Hernandez, her childhood friend, stood beside Jenny, smiling sympathetically.
“So, how is it? Being back and everything?” He asked. He always seemed to know what was on her mind. He knew her better than anyone else. He was her confidante and closest friend. Things would have been easier for her, had he been there when it all happened.
“It’s...god, did you see them staring at me?”
“They still are,” Jenny said pointedly, looking around at the students who’s eyes were still on her. They abruptly stopped their muttering and hurried away into the hallway crowd.
“Don’t worry about it,” Shaun told her, “It’ll get better. It always does. And it shouldn’t be a problem, now that you’re a changed woman right?” He smiled. Haley couldn’t help smiling back. Suddenly she was feeling much more optimistic about it all. She wasn’t surprised; Shaun’s charm always did work on her, after all. The three of them began walking down the hallways again, and with them beside her, Haley found it much easier to endure those piercing eyes. She knew she would change things for herself, and never allow herself to be called a whore again.
But then she saw him. Sitting there alone on the stair case. He was dressed in all black, with his black hair spiked with gel and his eyes painted with black eye liner. With his baggy clothes, earrings, wristbands, and black nail polish, he looked very Goth– possibly Emo. Despite the devastating change, she’d know him anywhere. Logan Martin. Her Ex-Boyfriend.
He was back?! Haley remembered seeing him driven off by his parents after all that happened between them last year. Now he was back in school again, and was glaring menacingly at her from the stair case. Haley couldn’t help but shutter under his gaze. She had feared more than anything coming back and having to face him. What was he going to say? What was he going to do?

Jan. 4th, 2008

I want a guitar!!

acoustic, actually. cheap one, good quality, good for beginners. Anyone know where I can find one like this?????

Nov. 2nd, 2007

havent posted in a while...

So this is just an update. 7 new things going on:

1. I have a huge crush on a girl who doesn't really like me in that kinda way. Sucks.

2. Starting a new book again, along with the Prisoners Of Poetry project which I'll talk about when I've got the time.

3. School still sucks and I'm working on transferring, and if all goes as planned I should be able to which is awesome!

4. I just started singing...kinda random isn't it? But yeah and I think I sound ok and so do other people, so I guess thats good.

5. I found out that girls come to me for everything. Any problem they have or help they need, I'm the first (and some times the only) guy they come to. Thats great!

6. i REALLY wanna learn acoustic guitar. i want to get lessons from a friend of mine but its only a matter of parental consent and my parents just suck when it comes to things like that. So i don't know if that will happen but I'll still try.

7. i need a JOB. minimum wage but still i want it and i cant get any jobs here at the moment. it SUCKS BIG TIME. I'M BROKE!!

yes only 7 because now i have to go. So yeah I'll add more later.

Oct. 9th, 2007

Another new poem!

Yeah this one actually required some thought...I don't know I really want some feed back on it so everyone please read and tell me what you think! Much Appreciated!!!

JAILBIRD by HellzAngel

I sit here silently
Imprisoned in this hellhole of a jail cell
surrounded by the stone hard faces and cold stares
of the real criminals, the people that actually
committed some kinda crime to end up here
But me? No, I was here for different reasons
For being in the wrong place at the wrong time
For who I am and the way I dress
I was a black teenager found at the scene
For them that was reason enough
But they no nothing
I had witnessed that man be killed tonight
Shot dead in his own shop, blood flowing
and the light left his eyes
the last thing he saw
was me
And then they found me, I was
captured and handcuffed before I knew
what the hell was going on
Stuffed in a cop car and dragged into the station
And there they tried to break me
Me? fall victim to their malicious, insulting
mental abuse they call interrogation?
I returned every cold stare with glares of my own
Answered every question with precision and perfection
Looked them all straight in the eye and didn't even blink
They could not break me
I'm no criminal
Never will I allow myself to succumb to
their ridiculous accusations
I will not admit defeat
As I sit in this darkened jail cell
in painful silence as I await bail
It dawns on me, that poem
"I know why the caged bird sings"
But this bird will definitely break free
And spread its wings and soar

New Poem called HELL'S ANGEL

New poem I wrote yesterday. It's really just for the new poetry group I've joined, and HellzAngel is my title for that, and we all wrote a short piece to describe the title we've given ourselves so please read and comment!

HELL'S ANGEL by HellzAngel

The Devil's Henchman
And God's Deciple
The curse of the Gemini
Has split my soul in two
What resides inside my human body
Are two men of completely different calibers
One reflects Satan, a demonic being,lover
of all things evil, who wants nothing more
than to cause pain
The other worships the savior, abiding by
the teachings of the bible, a sincere,
kind being who is pure at heart
Both beings lie within me
And both reveal themselves at moments unpredictable
A man of utmost honesty
can instantaneously become
A man of cold-hearted malice
Such mental transitions cannot be avoided or controlled
My only choice is to bear the burden of each
alter ego, and deal with the fortunate
or problematic situations that befall me
So what do you call someone
with both a blessing and a curse?
Who harbors the souls of
both a demon and an angel?
The only name that fits to me is
Hell's Angel

Oct. 5th, 2007

Wow...Im Back!

I realize I haven't posted in quite a while....
Well I been busy people, school work, girls, friends, girls, and writing. I'll have details later but for now this is all i can say. I gotta go....so I'll post again later on!

Sep. 13th, 2007

New Short Story

Apologies, haven't got the chance to bust the girl yet, but I will, and I'll post it but until then I have this. My friend Reinard and I decided to do some free verse, he'd start of a story and I'd come up with a bit to add to it to continue and so on. So here it is, called suicidal tendencies for now, we wrote this together (but it was really kinda random) and um tell me what you think!

The wind has grown cold only to reach out the poor dying boy in a ride of fleeting blood

the light left his eyes as he fell slowly, collapsing on the cold wet floor surrounded by a pool of his own blood

The only memory remaining in his undying soul reached out of his body and stuck to anything that permitted it to stay

he could feel the life within in him slowly diminishing, his sight blurring and heart slowing, as the tall figure stood above him, his bloody knife dripping into the damp floor below

That one memory clamped onto the arm of the assialant and fed on his flesh until all that remained were bone

the memory ate at him, burning away at his skin like a poison, devouring his flesh like a parasite, eating at him until his vision became shrouded, as the boy lay dying before him, he saw it...

He saw not only wat he had done but the truth that lay before him uncovered

the images drifted into his mind, shrouding his vision and he saw the boy in the arms of a woman. she held the infant in her arms with a loving caress so beautiful it tugged at his heart. and now he could see, he had a faint sense of the way things used to be, what it had been like to feel.....

he remained petrified, death closing in like a missile. he cracked a slight smile and shed a single tear, and after that it all went Boom. Darkness as much as light pulling both the Life-ridden humans strongly with a justified cause. It was who and why.

he knew at once what he had done, the boy laying there staring up at him with cold blank eyes, they were linked, the boy had returned to him his emotion, his guilt, his sorrow, and his pain from his darkened past, he was petrified, grabbing his chest as he fell to his knees, his head ready to explode

Until one tiny memory escaped from the boy. A small dreadful memory. In this darkened moment a slight breeze flew by the assailant, a very cold breeze carrying two words... thank you...

the assailant, clutching at his own heart, things became clear to him, the boy having lost the thing he cared about most, wanting nothing more than to end the horrible, treacherous struggle to survive in a world of hatred and despair, a smile spread across his face, the man thought he heard a faint chuckle, and his eyes closed, a rush of agony and sorrow came crashing down on the assailant, he had taken the pain....

had he done justice or had he done the devil's play? His body felt heavy and his arms fell as did his wholeness. The cold damp floor felt like heaven only with an aspiring twist which was the fact that he actually was in heaven. He closed his weary eyes to remember what, but only thought of why as he lay there on the floor in a pool of his own blood staring at the very man he once was. The assailant standing next to him with a devilish smile of pleasure. It was then that he figured out who, just as he figured out what

The image before him, of a white, sacred room dissolved to reveal a sea of red, flames erupting from the ground and screams echoing from all directions as a hooded figure approached him. He was mistaken but all was clear now, it was he himself he had murdered, he himself that suffered that terrible life that built him up to his evil ways, killing was the only way to ease the pain, watching someone else's agony brought him happiness, but it all turned on him, murdering what was once he himself had landed him here...

Sep. 10th, 2007


Ok you people remember that girlfriend I was talking about? Long distance, signs of cheating, whatever? Well I didn't end it but after this I will as soon as possible. I'm actually kinda glad i held it this long just because of the following conversation. this is on AIM and the screen names are as follows: Natdog8357 is my friend Nathan. Wolfang703 is me. aarm1993 is Ashley, the girl. So yeah read the chat and try to understand the instant messaging terms and tell me what you think people. Um I'll put some terms just for you who don't know.
(omg= oh my god, omfg= oh my fucking god. ily= i love you. nvm= nevermind. brb= be right back. sry= sorry. ig2g= I got to go. lmao= laugh my ass off. lol= laugh out loud. b4= before.) i may be missing some i dunno figure it out...I'm wesley by the way =)

Natdog8357 (8:47:23 PM): yo im talkin to ashley right now
Natdog8357 (8:47:31 PM): hol on ill send u the conversation
wolfang703 (8:47:42 PM): okk
Natdog8357 (8:47:49 PM): Natdog8357 (8:41:32 PM):i love u

aarm1993 (8:41:42 PM):WHAT????

Natdog8357 (8:42:40 PM):i

Natdog8357 (8:42:42 PM):love

Natdog8357 (8:42:43 PM):u

aarm1993 (8:42:39 PM):omg

aarm1993 (8:42:51 PM):u cant say dat

Natdog8357 (8:43:44 PM):y not

aarm1993 (8:44:45 PM):wesley.......and u gonna make me feel bad 4 commin down here

Natdog8357 (8:47:21 PM):y u love me bac

aarm1993 (8:47:27 PM):yes
Natdog8357 (8:48:02 PM): i wuz just fuckin around
Natdog8357 (8:48:17 PM): and um........she........took it seriously
Natdog8357 (8:49:58 PM): u got that
wolfang703 (8:50:13 PM): hold on
Natdog8357 (8:50:40 PM): Natdog8357 (8:48:46 PM):aww

Natdog8357 (8:48:52 PM):u make me happy

aarm1993 (8:48:51 PM):i know

Natdog8357 (8:49:11 PM):were u serious

aarm1993 (8:49:06 PM):yes

Natdog8357 (8:49:23 PM):aww now im happier

Natdog8357 (8:49:30 PM):=)

Natdog8357 (8:49:40 PM):=)

Natdog8357 (8:50:02 PM):y'd u have to leave

aarm1993 (8:50:08 PM):parents

Natdog8357 (8:50:25 PM):awww

Natdog8357 (8:50:30 PM):i really miss u

aarm1993 (8:50:27 PM):me 2
Natdog8357 (8:50:51 PM): omfg i think she's serious
wolfang703 (8:54:58 PM): omfg....
wolfang703 (8:56:33 PM): should i be like "so nathan said hes talkin 2 u"?
wolfang703 (8:56:38 PM): nvm
wolfang703 (8:56:44 PM): she told me she was talkin 2 u
Natdog8357 (8:57:10 PM): nah dont say dat
wolfang703 (8:57:56 PM): she said brb
Natdog8357 (8:57:58 PM): yeah to me too
wolfang703 (8:58:05 PM): oh
Natdog8357 (8:58:22 PM): she back
wolfang703 (8:59:11 PM): she said she leavin
Natdog8357 (9:00:19 PM):
Natdog8357(8:55:11 PM):i thought we had no secrets

aarm1993(8:56:01 PM):no u have no secreats toward me but i have a lot toward u

aarm1993(8:57:07 PM):brb

Natdog8357(8:57:27 PM):aww

Natdog8357(8:57:39 PM):i thought we got past that stuff

Natdog8357(8:57:58 PM):cant we just let everything be placed on the table

aarm1993(8:57:56 PM):baq

aarm1993(8:57:57 PM):no

aarm1993(8:58:00 PM):sry

Natdog8357(8:58:13 PM):aww

Natdog8357(8:58:24 PM):but i thought u loved me

aarm1993(8:58:58 PM):i do

aarm1993(8:59:09 PM):awy way

aarm1993(8:59:12 PM):i g2g

aarm1993(8:59:23 PM):mommy is on my ass

aarm1993(8:59:26 PM):ily

aarm1993(8:59:28 PM):bye

Natdog8357(8:59:59 PM):ily2 bye
Natdog8357 (9:02:18 PM): dam
Natdog8357 (9:02:23 PM): she serious
Natdog8357 (9:02:35 PM): lol i told u she would cheaton u
wolfang703 (9:02:52 PM): wow she really is son
wolfang703 (9:02:56 PM): hol on
Natdog8357 (9:03:12 PM): u got her number?
wolfang703 (9:04:00 PM): yo um we need to drop da bomb
wolfang703 (9:04:02 PM): like soon
wolfang703 (9:04:15 PM): both of us chat wit her at the same time in a chatroom
wolfang703 (9:04:29 PM): i need to torture her she pissed me off big time
wolfang703 (9:04:32 PM): so we gonna do dis
wolfang703 (9:04:38 PM): interrogation
wolfang703 (9:04:47 PM): and we gonna find out who she really want
wolfang703 (9:04:51 PM): ok?
wolfang703 (9:05:35 PM): ok?!?!?!?!!?
Natdog8357 (9:05:39 PM): ok
wolfang703 (9:05:46 PM): good
wolfang703 (9:05:57 PM): im kinda already hopin she picks u
Natdog8357 (9:06:05 PM): y
Natdog8357 (9:06:15 PM): ima just play her lataz or forget about her
wolfang703 (9:06:23 PM): lmao
wolfang703 (9:06:51 PM): but seriously i dont think i can look at her da same way
wolfang703 (9:06:55 PM): plus she was serious
wolfang703 (9:06:57 PM): wtf!!!
Natdog8357 (9:07:05 PM): i thought u didnt like her
wolfang703 (9:07:21 PM): i dont
wolfang703 (9:07:31 PM): well not really, but she kinda grew on me a little
Natdog8357 (9:07:39 PM): LOL U PUSSY
Natdog8357 (9:07:44 PM): she got u whipped
Natdog8357 (9:07:51 PM): i thought u wuz a playa
wolfang703 (9:08:03 PM): i thought so to lol
wolfang703 (9:08:14 PM): im a hopeless romantic but she come on strong too
wolfang703 (9:08:33 PM): u dont seem the type to get whipped so u wont kno wat im talkin bout
Natdog8357 (9:08:58 PM): i get romantic but i dnt get whipped
Natdog8357 (9:09:04 PM): i had her whipped basically
Natdog8357 (9:09:11 PM): had her runnin to the music room lol
wolfang703 (9:09:18 PM): lol
wolfang703 (9:09:57 PM): romance is easy i just need money
Natdog8357 (9:10:05 PM): lol i wuz broke and had her on all fours
wolfang703 (9:10:37 PM): lmao
wolfang703 (9:10:57 PM): well i'd spend it on someone that got me whipped from the start
wolfang703 (9:11:03 PM): not a little girlfriend...
Natdog8357 (9:11:11 PM): dude she aint worth a dime
Natdog8357 (9:11:20 PM): ims urprised she could get u whipped
Natdog8357 (9:11:35 PM): i mean all she really got is d cup tits
wolfang703 (9:11:39 PM): i had her whipped first
Natdog8357 (9:11:50 PM): and she can work her body
Natdog8357 (9:11:54 PM): and she's a freak
Natdog8357 (9:11:59 PM): and i OWNED her
Natdog8357 (9:12:09 PM): thats the only reason i messed wit her
wolfang703 (9:12:15 PM): yo she came 2 me like i said
wolfang703 (9:12:20 PM): i didnt ask her out or nuthin
Natdog8357 (9:12:51 PM): cuz she just broke up wit shaq
Natdog8357 (9:12:57 PM): u wuz the rebound guy
wolfang703 (9:13:07 PM): lmao
wolfang703 (9:13:22 PM): yeah well i only started likin her after she went out wit shaq
wolfang703 (9:13:29 PM): b4 dat she was annoyin as hell 2 me
Natdog8357 (9:13:32 PM): cuz then u saw how freaky she wuz

SO we are gonna do an interrogation tomorrow I am looking forward to it, because I know it will be filled with drama. I love drama. I love that this is happening because it feels like something out of TV, plus it gives me a new story topic =) Look back for tomorrow's episode!


Boredom is freaking dangerous. I spend a lot of my time online now because my friends live kinda far away and my parents won't let me see them anyway. Apart from the constant fighting in my family and me trying to start doing everything possible to get into a good college, oh and AIM/myspace/LJ to interact with other people, my life is dull.

Ok so theres fighting in my house. So what? I'm pretty much used to that. This time though i might have to actually solve the problem myself because people in my family don't listen. At all. Ugh.

And I'm like prepping for college. SAT classes, volunteer hours, preparing for an Intel competition, looking at actual colleges, among other things. Truth is i cant WAIT to go to college. Because then I'm FREE and all that. I like the idea of living on my own away from my annoying ass family. Still I will visit...eventually...or just pick up my little bro and just go do something. I want to be successful, more successful than my parents, and I don't care if I have to go to school 8 more years after high school to do it. (damn 8 years....) I want to start a family and need to support it so...

Who the fuck thinks this far ahead about shit like this? I'm fucking 14 years old!!!

School is easy. My family is usually easy to deal with but now...I dunno I'll do something. Life is BORING. I need to see my friends. Frequently. Otherwise I'll be to bored to even write anymore.

Sep. 8th, 2007

New project....

I had an idea for a project to incorporate narrative writing and poetry, but i gotta change it around a bit...i have most of the new storyline down but with all thats going on i haven't really typed it out or put it on paper yet. but its coming...soon...

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